Mr. Floppy

Also known as Slick, also known as The Boy Cat, also known as YOU IDIOT. One of two cats that I brought home this summer, this little troublemaker is a walking bundle of observable happenings.

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Among his more entertaining attributes are his movements and his vocalizations. Slick starts each day by padding about quietly before beginning playtime with his sister, Spin. That he can even get around the house unnoticed is remarkable: his paws, however dainty and deft, are disproportionately large. They look suggestive of a much larger feline creature and are technically characterized as polydactyl-style phalanges.

Slick is a talker and seems to meow up at you when he’s agitated but also if he’s feeling happy. Most chatty times beyond all others are those directly before eating, usually at 6am and 6pm. He doesn’t usually meow first thing in the morning but he will do so if you’re taking too long to get him fed. Just this morning Slick was there with me as I woke but not as an instigator. Instead he was purring his fuzzy z’s right next to me and only got moving as I rolled out of bed. He probably wondered why I was meowing at him so early.

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His dinner-plate paws go bounce-bounce-bounce as he trots along the floor. Especially when he was smaller it looked like a little pony, or perhaps a little tiger, were occupying his body. The trotting has given way to a more natural walk, though the paws continue to grow. From time to time that strange little gallop can still be seen (the photo above features panther mode).

In the 2 months we’ve had him and his sister, Slick has demonstrated an increasing capacity for bizarre dexterity. His grip on items is strong and can be substantial even without attaching his hooked claws. Once they are attached he can dangle at least his own bodyweight from a single claw, even given some drag – I’ve observed this while pulling upwards on toys that he’s trying to kill.

He has been jumping up at doorknobs. Haven’t seen him to open any yet but that might be coming soon. His sister, Spin, has shown herself to be quite the climber. Her paws are not as large but seem well-suited to the task of scaling perfectly flat wall faces or shimmying up corners.

Most enjoyable about the little dude is his apathy and floppiness on being touched. Slick is perhaps the embodiment of cuddles. Unless he has a very urgent appointment or food in the stove, he really won’t complain if you pick him up off the ground for some face time. And he likely won’t ask to be put back down, either. He likes to dangle and bend and twist his way around your limbs, offering no proof that he was trying to act all tough just a few seconds earlier.

You’re guaranteed to enjoy Slick if you can handle his face-rubs and nose-kisses. If not…good luck!

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Guest Feature (MDO)

Some years ago (perhaps late 2012 or early 2013) I wrote my older brother Michael a letter requesting a particular response. My prompt to him was simple: “Extinction.”


 

EXTINCTION IS EXTINCT

Our perpetually attentive society is in fact just the opposite. This ironic ignorance was born of the desire to know everything at once. Until now almost no person realized what a miserable fate access to all knowledge would be (though a collective malaise has existed since initial forays into universal accessibility to man’s aggregated history and output).

Recently, however, the awful practice of uninformed criticism of all things has come into favor among those fresh out of the educational mills of the modern western world. As such; it was only a matter of time until someone attacked our society’s newly formed habit to store away (multiple copies) everything anyone does or says. Unlike other criticisms by bright-eyed ‘scholars’ this one holds water – it is, in fact, watertight. So vile is our culture’s habit – so vile and viral, that it seems certain to infect all persons on the globe before the decade is out. Long gone are the days of a gentle wind passing unnoticed in a calm valley. No more is the time when a child’s first steps are recorded only in the memory of her parents. All things can be known to all people. And endless and frantic dash for all information has begun.

The future’s past will have no secrets. Extinction is extinct.